Consequences of Violence on Children's Development

I have a cousin who has always been like a sister to me.  When we were young, they lived in a neighboring town about 30 minutes away.  We would go and visit them just about every weekend or they would come to my grandma's house.  I would also spend two weeks during the summer at their house.  Needless to say, we were together a lot and very close.  When she was in fifth grade, they moved to the town that I live in.  A few years after they moved here, her parents go divorced because her dad was committing adultery.  Her mom moved out of town but because of the convenience, her and her sister decided to stay with their dad.  Her dad had some mental issues and never treated her like a dad should.  I never knew it at the time, but he was emotionally and physically abusive to her while she was growing up.  I was told later by my aunt that he had never wanted a second daughter and so he never treated my cousin like she mattered.  On the other hand, he treated their first born daughter like a princess.  In a way he almost came off as obsessed with her.  My cousin was a difficult teenager.  She was never given many limits and the ones they did give her, she pushed.  She started smoking, using alcohol, and having sexual intercourse when she was thirteen years old.  There were times that I was at her house and witnessed her being very disrespectful to her mom(something that I was raised not to be).  Her mom felt like she was a battle she couldn't win.  I would also witness times of her dad being very mean to her.  One night she called our house sobbing and saying that she was so scared that her dad was going to hurt her.  I got my mom to rush us right up to their house and she came home with us that night.  It was not until later in life that she told me all of the things her dad put her through and even though my aunt knew about it, she did nothing.  I guess she was scared of him as well.  The mental and physical abuse my cousin went through caused a lot of stress in her life and I believe it is the reason she turned to smoking, drinking, and sex.  I believe she was looking for the love that her father had never given her.  She got pregnant at 17 and had her first child right after graduating from high school.  That marriage didn't last and neither did the next one.  She has three children now and many failed relationships.  She has been in several relationships where the man is physically or mentally abusive.  It seems as if these are the type of men she goes looking for.  I truly believe that it is the lack of a father or the way her father treated her that led to this.  A father is one of the most important influences on a daughter's self-esteem and self-concept.  Her father showed her that she didn't mean anything and that she was not worth much.  She has never valued herself and has always turned to men to try and receive what it was that she didn't receive from her dad.  Through all of this, she blames her mom the most for not sticking up for her when she couldn't protect herself.  Her mom says that she did the best that she could.  I think that she was not treated well by either parent.  Her dad obviously for the abuse but because her mom felt guilty, she let her do things that a teenager should not have the freedom to be doing.  To this day, her mom enables her behavior(even when she does not make the right choices).  I think her mom is still trying to make up for the lack of being there for her when she was young.  Her sister on the other hand was treated very well as a young child.  Her dad was always praising her and telling her how proud he was of her.  When we were around them you could completely see the difference between the way the two of them were treated.  To this day my cousin still tries to seek the approval of her dad.  He ended up getting help for his problems and she says she has forgiven him for the abuse.  She now often turns to him for advice in her situations and it is very upsetting to me to see the advice he gives her(because often times it is not advice that will do her any good).  She is still looking for that love that she didn't receive.  Her sister on the other hand now sees their dad for who he is and is not very close to him at all.  It is interesting to see the way the situation has all worked out.  My cousin has not received counseling for the abuse that she endured and now at 35yrs old she is still displaying some of the same behaviors that she did at 13.  She is in the process of getting out of a relationship where the man treats her as if she doesn't matter and she is telling me how she was begging him to stay.  I told her that it was time that she realized her self-worth and that she shouldn't have to beg anyone to love her.  I think that maybe if her mother had gotten her counseling when she was young, she would not be dealing with these issues in the same way.  My hope and prayer is that one day she will realize that she needs help to overcome her mindset and that she will truly see the person that she is and learn to love her.


Child Abuse/Violence in China
I decided to research China because that is the country that I researched about birthing methods. I thought it would be interesting to see how prevalent child abuse is due to the one child policy that they have.  What I learned is that in Chinese culture, physical punishment is seen as a way to discipline children.  Therefore, many in the society accept corporal punishment and believe that if children are given too many rights, then they won't be able to punish them the way they would like to (Luk, 2004).  In some surveys there were reports of children being slapped and kicked or even hit with objects such as belts or sticks.  There have also been reports of teachers being physically violent with children because of the high level of respect that teachers believe they should receive.  When they don't receive this respect, they feel it is ok to abuse the child (BBC News, 2005 ).  In many cases in China because of the one child policy, girls are often the ones who are abused.  Most families want to have boys to expand the population and have workers, so when a girl is born, it is seen as a disappointment.  This has led to many baby girls being thrown into the trash or into the streets and abandoned (Ni, 2007).  One very disturbing story that I read was that of a woman who had needles embedded in her body from when she was a baby.  They believed that the grandfather had done this because he didn't want another granddaughter.  As a baby the mother noticed that she was always crying, but they didn't know why.  The father was physically and verbally abusive to the mother and the children and it wasn't until after they were divorced and the mother remarried that these needles were discovered.  At the time the article was written, she was 26 and was still in the process of having the needles removed from her body.  This was a very dangerous situation because some of them had become attached to some vital organs.  This is one case of the type of abuse that some Chinese children have to endure.  One survey reported that there is a clear link between maltreatment in childhood and physical and mental health problems later in life.  It is believed that this is why some of these people turn to alcohol, violence, or even suicide (BBC News, 2005 ).  Priscilla Lui Tsang Sun-Kai, the director of Against Child Abuse(ACA), stated that child abuse in China is leading to social crisis and they need to find a way to prevent it  (Luk, 2004).  She feels that Chinese society(specifically Hong Kong) has become tolerant of child abuse and that people accept it because they believe that there is no escape from it.  The steps she is trying to take in preventing the child abuse from happening is to make sure the professionals who are in the field receive the appropriate training and awareness to deal with the situations.  I guess researching another country has made me aware that child abuse is a stressor in many countries other than the United States and helps lead to the development of children and their self-worth and self-concept.  

Childhood Obesity

This topic was not on the list of topics, but it is one that I feel is a very important topic in the society and culture that we live in.  Childhood obesity has been on the rise since the 1980s and in fact the rates of childhood obesity have tripled since then.  We live in a society that has become very sedentary with the increase in technology(video games, computers, ipods/cellphones).  This style of living is contributing to the increase in childhood obesity.  Children are living in a "fast food" generation and are used to eating foods that are high in fat and calories.    The increased amount of childhood obesity is leading to an increase in the health risks among children.  The biggest health risk that has seen an increase is Type 2 diabetes.  Other health issues related to obesity are heart disease, high blood pressure, and cholesterol(all of which have increased in the last 20 years).  The increased number of health problems has led to a higher rate of doctor and hospital visits for children.  This in turn increases the cost of health coverage.  In the past decade I think our society has started to see the problems that we have caused our children and has issued many campaigns to try and persuade children to eat better and move more.  Many professional athletes are endorsing a movement for better nutrition and activity such as the NFL's Play 60 campaign which encourages children to have 60 minutes of play a day.  I think that it is important for these types of role models to show children how important it is to be physically active.  I also think it is the parents' responsibility to help bring awareness to their children.  It is important to teach children from an early age the benefits of healthy living.  I also think that the way parents introduce this topic is important.  I don't think parents should discuss the topic as a body image problem(you're too fat) but rather as a health issue.  If parents tell their children that they need to lose weight because they are too fat, this could lead to issues in poor self-esteem.  Instead, I believe that it is first important to foster a child's self-esteem by letting them know that they are beautiful as the person that they are.  I then think a parent should discuss the health factors with their child about eating too much and exercising little.  I think that if the subject is broached from a heart/health perspective, then the child won't see it as a self-esteem issue.  Parents also need to remember that they are the greatest role model that a child has and they will want to do what they see their parents doing.  We need to teach our children through our own examples that it's ok to have all kinds of food as long as it is in moderation and teach them about making healthy choices.  As in all areas of development, children learn from a very young age, and the sooner we can teach them to take care of their bodies, the better it will be for their health.

When thinking about this topic and doing some research, the part of the world that I picked to give information about was Japan.  I tried to think of a country that I believed had very little problem with obesity.  When I searched childhood obesity in Japan, I was surprised to find out that it has been on the rise.  Japan has always been accustomed to eating a diet high in carbohydrates(rice) and vegetables.  In recent years it has moved away from this diet and has hit the "fast food" generation along with the rest of us.  Children are now eating fast food burgers, fried chicken, and instant noodles.  This has led the government to be concerned and they have issued a nutrition chart that would encourage better eating habits among children.  The government has also set aside money to deal with this issue and has created programs in health and sports.  They offer classes in sports, nutrition, and health.  These classes give lessons for children and parents on how to improve their eating and living habits.  Japan has always had a very high life expectancy rate and they are hoping that through their new efforts they will be able to keep it that way. 

After reading about one of the healthier nations in the world also having trouble with rising numbers of childhood obesity, I realized just how important this topic is.  This topic is especially meaningful to me because I was an obese child.  I was a very small toddler and young child but when I got to be in the 5th/6th grade, I started to gain weight.  I was never showed how to eat in moderation and I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted even if it was just sweets.  I grew up on a lot of processed, sugary foods and very few fruits or vegetables.  I am a very short person(a whopping 5ft 1) and so by the time I was in 8th grade and weighed close to 180lbs. I was picked on alot.  I was often referred to as "two-ton tilly"(by family members) and was also called names by my peers.  My family would often tell me I was fat and needed to lose weight(although they kept providing the food that was leading to the weight problem).  This led me to have a very poor self-esteem and I became very shy and withdrawn.  I decided in 10th grade to start to lose weight and I did it on my own.  I continually lost weight and by the time I graduated from high school I weighed 117lbs.  I have managed to keep my weight under control for the most part(except for pregnancies) now.  Due to the way that I was raised, I have had self-esteem and self-image problems for most of my life but then I realized that it shouldn't be about that, but about being healthy.  Once I had children, I realized that I wanted to be around for them and I wanted to raise them to be healthy and to love themselves no matter what they look like.  I will teach them that their heart is the most important part of their body that they should be concerned about and the part that they always need to take care of.  I will teach them the ways that I have learned to take care of it(through healthy eating and exercise).  I hope to teach them to love themselves enough to always take care of the one body they were given. 

I think that the way this information could impact my future work with children is that I will be able to pass on my knowledge of health and nutrition.  I would like to help with programs that are designed to keep children healthy and active.  I will also help my own children stay active and fit by keeping them involved in physical play.  We are given one body in this life and how long we live is greatly impacted by the way we take care of that body.  As a mother and a teacher my plan is to teach children to love themselves enough to take care the most important gift they were given - their life.

The Joy of Birth

I have had the extreme joy of having 4 beautiful children.  It was very difficult to choose which one to write about, but I had to choose the one that had the most profound effect on my life and that was the birth of our fourth(and final) child.  After my first pregnancy did not end in natural childbirth(after attempting everything for 24 hours I had to have a c-section) and due to high blood pressure issues in my second pregnancy, I have had four c-sections.  Numbers two through four were planned so I knew what to expect.  The only thing I didn't know was the sex of the baby(something my husband and I agreed was better not knowing).  During my fourth pregnancy I had many issues.  The biggest scare that we had was that our blood test came back high showing our baby could be born with a chromosomal disorder.  After an amniocentesis and several ultrasounds, a chromosomal disorder was dismissed, but our baby still had some extra fluid build up.  After seeing a specialist from months 4-9, he finally said I was ok to have our baby in our nearby hospital, but he made sure that our pediatrician knew his findings of the extra fluid and at that point a small opening at the base of the skull.  I went in for my c-section as scheduled and did not expect anything different than had happened before but one thing was different.  I had been dealing with a low blood platelet issue and the anesthesiologist wanted to put me out instead of giving me a spinal.  I had never missed one of my children's deliveries and after all I had gone through with this pregnancy, I was sure I didn't want to miss this one.  I asked him to please just do the spinal and he told me he would give it one shot, but if it didn't work, then he was putting me under.  I have a very strong faith and I prayed so hard that I would be able to be awake to see my baby.  I was granted my wish and we had a 7lb baby boy.  I saw him for a very brief few seconds(as with all of them after a c-section)before they took him away to stitch me up.  While I was in recovery, the pediatrician on call came in to talk to me.  I could tell on her face that it wasn't good news.  She proceeded to tell me that they were going to take our son to a larger hospital because he was having some breathing problems and after reading the specialist's notes, she thought he needed to be checked out further.  I said that I understood and she said they would have to leave very soon.  I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to see my son again before they took him away because I was still in recovery and they didn't want to send me over to the maternity ward before I could feel my legs.  The nurse(who I'm sure was an angel) in the recovery room told me she would make sure that I got over there before they left.  The doctor then came back in to tell me that they were going to life flight my son because he really wasn't breathing well and they didn't want to take the time for the ambulance.  The recovery room nurse asked her supervisor if she could escort me to the maternity ward and stay with me over there to monitor me so that I could see my baby and they let her(she told me that they don't normally do that, so I knew things were serious).  We got over to the recovery room just before the helicopter arrived.  I'll never forget when they wheeled my baby in.  He was hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires and he looked very large and puffy(even his fingers).  They then asked me if I wanted to hold him before they took him and they placed him in my arms.  I looked at him and told him I loved him and that everything would be ok and that I would be with him as soon as I could.  They then took him and placed him in this oxygen type tent or incubator and wheeled him out of the room.  I will never forget this moment either because of my four children, he was the first one that I actually got to hold before anyone else did(normally everyone else got to hold the babies while I was still in recovery).  Knowing that he was leaving and that I couldn't be with him killed me on the inside but I had three other children(ages 11yrs, 8 yrs, and 6 yrs) that I had to be strong for and they were very worried about him.  My husband didn't want to leave me but we both knew that he had to be with our baby, so he went to the hospital(3 and 1/2 hours away) to be with him.  This joyous occasion that we were supposed to share together as a family was not turning out as planned.  Somehow through all of that, I managed to find a peace.  You see when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Jadon(a name we picked whether a boy or a girl because biblically it means "thankful") I almost had a miscarriage but God didn't allow that to happen and I fully believed that he had a purpose for Jadon.  Four days later when I was released from the hospital(because of my platelet issue) I traveled to the hospital to be with Jadon.  I remember walking into the ICU and seeing this tiny baby in this bin and thinking "that's not him!"  He looked so different from the brief few minutes I had seen him.  He was no longer swollen(he had excess fluid when he was born that had caused the swelling) and he was this amazing little bundle of joy.  He is now almost 18months old and has had several health issues(he was born with a genetic condition called Noonan's Syndrome), but the good Lord has brought him through each one.  His birth was an amazing experience for me because the bond I felt with him at the moment I held him was that much greater knowing that there was a chance I may not see him again.  God put everyone in place for that day to happen and the many days to come.  He is the joy of my life(as are my other two daughters and son) and his birth couldn't have made me anything but more "thankful" for the life and blessings I have been given.

I believe that birth definitely impacts child development.  I think that the bond that is created between parents, siblings, grandparents, and even aunts and uncles begins from the moment the baby arrives.  I come from a pretty big family and most of them were there for each one of my children being born.  They were in the room to hold them and they were there to support me when Jadon was taken away.  They were also there to travel to the hospital to see him.  I think that when a child grows up with a strong bond from the beginning, it is a bond that will make them feel trust and security from the start.  I think that when a child is bonded to parents and several others who love and care for them, then it truly aids in cognitive, physical, and emotional development right from the start.

     The country that I chose to write about was China.  I was interested in China because my aunt had adopted a child from China and so I was wondering about birth there.  In China they have a One Child Policy where each woman who wants to have a child has to receive permission to give birth.  The woman has to be married and both parties must be childless.  Each woman is required to go to childbirth classes for 3 hours(much different from the US where it is offered, but we are not required to go).  In the US anyone can have a child and it doesn't matter how many they already have or their age for that fact.  Being a teacher and seeing the ways that some children are raised, I can see the point to making people get permission to have children.  Maybe then we wouldn't have so much abuse and neglect.
     In China the doctor by law is not allowed to tell the gender of the baby.  This is due to the fact that some families would have the baby aborted if it was not a boy.  There are cases where rich families will pay the doctors to tell but the doctor risks being fined or even losing a medical license if he/she tells.  This is much different from the US where it is almost unheard of for people not to find out the sex of their babies anymore.  I know alot of people couldn't believe that my husband and I didn't want to know. 
     Also in China women prefer to have c-sections because they believe it is safer and in fact 60% of births there are done by c-section.  I think that today there are many more c-sections than there used to be but I also think that doctors due still want women to have natural childbirth if at all possible.  When a woman has a baby no family members are allowed in the room and in fact all of the mothers who are delivering are in one room delivering at the same time with nurses running back and forth between patients.  This was really hard for me to picture because when I had my children I was in a private room by myself and all of my family was there.  Another difference is that they do not prefer breast feeding in China.  They want the mothers to feed the babies what they refer to as "powder milk" right away.  I think that in the US it is considered a choice but a great deal of doctors prefer for women to breast feed and they believe it to be best for the baby.
     After reading the article that I did, it made me want to do more research about China and other countries and the ways that childbirth is the same and yet different.  I think that I live a very sheltered life because after reading about the differences that our countries have, I couldn't imagine living in a country where I was only allowed to have one child.  I also think that it would be difficult to not have any family members there to share in the joy of the birth until after it was over.  I respect the differences that our countries have but at the same time, it makes me so grateful for the place where I live and the freedoms that I have.  My hope is that no matter how these babies come into this world, they are loved and bonded with from the start because this is what will lead to substantial child development.

Resources:

http://www.chengduliving.com/giving-birth-in-chengdu/