Dear Colleagues,
I know that the assignment this week was to pick two people to post a note of thanks to, but I also had to let all of you know how very important you have been in my journey and how appreciative I am of all of your support, guidance, and wisdom. All of you have a great deal to offer not only the field of early childhood education but the world in general. Please know that if you would ever need anything in the future I am here to help in any way that I can. You can always contact me through my Walden email. Thank you so very much for everything and I wish you a very Merry Christmas and nothing but happiness and blessings in the New Year!
God Bless,
Valerie
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Adjourning
I have had the opportunity to be involved in many different groups both in my personal life and in my professional life. I have been involved in groups where I have known all of the members of the group and also in groups where I met people for the first time by joining the group. In my opinion what makes a group the hardest to leave is the people. I don't believe that it always has to do with whether the group is high or low performing, but rather the people that you are able to build bonds with. I believe that if a group joins together and builds trust and works well together towards a common goal, then it makes it sad when that group is over. I think of a couple's group that my husband and I have been involved in at our church. We get together with other couple's from our church and have a small group meeting about different topics affecting our lives and how to handle them from a biblical aspect. Each time that we have left this group we have come away feeling sad yet anticipating the next group session that we would hold and seeing all of these people again. It was sad because we had gotten to know these people really well, trust them, and confide in them. These people became our friends and anytime you know you are not going to see a friend again, it is sad. I can on the other hand think of a group that I was involved in with some of my colleagues at school. It was a group that was formed to discuss the results from assessments that had been taken by the students. I was actually relieved when this group was over because there was a lot of bickering back and forth between certain people in different grade levels blaming other grade levels for poor test scores. To me it was not difficult to leave this group because it was a negative atmosphere and one where I did not feel that I could build trust with the other members. I actually looked forward to this group ending because I felt like I had better things that I could do with my time and energy. The difference between the way I felt in the adjourning phase in these two groups is that in the first group I was able to build a trust with these individuals and it was a positive atmosphere to be in. In the other group I was not able to build trust with the group members because many of them displayed the negative attitude of not wanting to be there from the very beginning.
Some of the closing rituals that I can remember having and enjoying were parties that celebrated not the end of the group but the relationships that were formed from the group and also celebrated the victory of reaching a common goal. After each of the couple's groups(that I mentioned above) ended we always had a game and pizza night where we would all get together and just have fun. Many times get-togethers are ways that I have been a part of ending a group. I think that these are the best rituals because it gives you something to look forward to, but also memories that you will take with you after the group ends. I think these types of rituals also help give you the initiative to want to start another group sooner than later and it gives you something to look forward to with these people that you can now call your friends.
I envision adjourning from my groups of colleagues with thank you notes and exchanges of postal addresses and email addresses. It would be nice to be able to have a chance somehow to meet these people face to face and maybe there is a celebration of some sort that Walden has for the online participants. I would definitely want to make sure that they all know that I wish them the best, have cherished their outlooks, and would like for them to remain a part of my life. I think adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it gives the team the opportunity to look at all that they accomplished and celebrate it. It is also a part of self-reflection in knowing what went well and what could have gone better. Most often when we become a part of a well run group that trusts and encourages one another then we build friendships that will last a lifetime. Adjourning allows for team members to take pride in all that they have accomplished and give thanks for the bonds of friendship and dedication that will carry them beyond the group and into life.
Some of the closing rituals that I can remember having and enjoying were parties that celebrated not the end of the group but the relationships that were formed from the group and also celebrated the victory of reaching a common goal. After each of the couple's groups(that I mentioned above) ended we always had a game and pizza night where we would all get together and just have fun. Many times get-togethers are ways that I have been a part of ending a group. I think that these are the best rituals because it gives you something to look forward to, but also memories that you will take with you after the group ends. I think these types of rituals also help give you the initiative to want to start another group sooner than later and it gives you something to look forward to with these people that you can now call your friends.
I envision adjourning from my groups of colleagues with thank you notes and exchanges of postal addresses and email addresses. It would be nice to be able to have a chance somehow to meet these people face to face and maybe there is a celebration of some sort that Walden has for the online participants. I would definitely want to make sure that they all know that I wish them the best, have cherished their outlooks, and would like for them to remain a part of my life. I think adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because it gives the team the opportunity to look at all that they accomplished and celebrate it. It is also a part of self-reflection in knowing what went well and what could have gone better. Most often when we become a part of a well run group that trusts and encourages one another then we build friendships that will last a lifetime. Adjourning allows for team members to take pride in all that they have accomplished and give thanks for the bonds of friendship and dedication that will carry them beyond the group and into life.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Conflict Resolution
The most recent disagreement I had was with my grandmother. I hate to say that I have ever had a disagreement with my grandmother, but it has happened. It was the night before Thanksgiving and we(two of my sisters and myself) were at her house trying to get all of the tables ready and things cleaned up. We were having around 38 people who would be at this meal. My grandma's sister was due to come and her son with his wife and three sons. My grandma was complaining about her coming and saying that she didn't understand why she wouldn't just have dinner at her own house with her children. I could only listen to so much until I turned around and said to my sisters "It would really hurt me if I knew you would say things like this about me." They asked me what I meant and I said "You know Aunt June is gram's sister just like we are sisters and you guys are all complaining about her. It would really hurt me if you ever talked like this about me and not wanting me to come to dinner." My grandma then heard what I was saying and told me that I didn't understand, that she was just taking advantage of the situation. So I told my gram that I did understand and that Thanksgiving was about being thankful for the people who are in our lives and she should be more gracious because the more gracious you are, it will come back in blessings to you. I then told her that it might not happen today and it might not happen tomorrow but you will be blessed for how you treat other people. She ended our conversation by again telling me that I didn't understand how my aunt is and she walked away.
After doing the readings this week I realize that I could have handled the situation differently. First of all, I should have listened longer and been a more active listener instead of jumping right in with my two sense. I then could have asked my gram some probing questions about her reasoning for not wanting my aunt to come to dinner and really listened to her response. I know that the whole thing had my gram upset and I had just made it even worse and so I probably should have kept my thoughts to myself. I could have reassured her with my feelings and came to a compromise with her to agree to disagree instead of letting her walk away upset with me. Fortunately my gram and I do not ever stay upset with each other and by the time I was leaving that night she had apologized to me and said that she hasn't been feeling well lately and she just lets little things upset her and then she lashes out at people. She told me that I was right and that we should want the people that we love with us at Thanksgiving. I know now that I could have avoided the conflict if I would have just listened better the first time and changed my tone with my gram. Conflict resolution strategies are very important in our lives and it is so beneficial to learn what they are and practice the effects they can have on a situation.
Colleagues:
What are some ways that you think I could have handled this situation better and what did you learn this week about conflict resolution that you feel makes you a better communicator now?
After doing the readings this week I realize that I could have handled the situation differently. First of all, I should have listened longer and been a more active listener instead of jumping right in with my two sense. I then could have asked my gram some probing questions about her reasoning for not wanting my aunt to come to dinner and really listened to her response. I know that the whole thing had my gram upset and I had just made it even worse and so I probably should have kept my thoughts to myself. I could have reassured her with my feelings and came to a compromise with her to agree to disagree instead of letting her walk away upset with me. Fortunately my gram and I do not ever stay upset with each other and by the time I was leaving that night she had apologized to me and said that she hasn't been feeling well lately and she just lets little things upset her and then she lashes out at people. She told me that I was right and that we should want the people that we love with us at Thanksgiving. I know now that I could have avoided the conflict if I would have just listened better the first time and changed my tone with my gram. Conflict resolution strategies are very important in our lives and it is so beneficial to learn what they are and practice the effects they can have on a situation.
Colleagues:
What are some ways that you think I could have handled this situation better and what did you learn this week about conflict resolution that you feel makes you a better communicator now?
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