The most recent disagreement I had was with my grandmother. I hate to say that I have ever had a disagreement with my grandmother, but it has happened. It was the night before Thanksgiving and we(two of my sisters and myself) were at her house trying to get all of the tables ready and things cleaned up. We were having around 38 people who would be at this meal. My grandma's sister was due to come and her son with his wife and three sons. My grandma was complaining about her coming and saying that she didn't understand why she wouldn't just have dinner at her own house with her children. I could only listen to so much until I turned around and said to my sisters "It would really hurt me if I knew you would say things like this about me." They asked me what I meant and I said "You know Aunt June is gram's sister just like we are sisters and you guys are all complaining about her. It would really hurt me if you ever talked like this about me and not wanting me to come to dinner." My grandma then heard what I was saying and told me that I didn't understand, that she was just taking advantage of the situation. So I told my gram that I did understand and that Thanksgiving was about being thankful for the people who are in our lives and she should be more gracious because the more gracious you are, it will come back in blessings to you. I then told her that it might not happen today and it might not happen tomorrow but you will be blessed for how you treat other people. She ended our conversation by again telling me that I didn't understand how my aunt is and she walked away.
After doing the readings this week I realize that I could have handled the situation differently. First of all, I should have listened longer and been a more active listener instead of jumping right in with my two sense. I then could have asked my gram some probing questions about her reasoning for not wanting my aunt to come to dinner and really listened to her response. I know that the whole thing had my gram upset and I had just made it even worse and so I probably should have kept my thoughts to myself. I could have reassured her with my feelings and came to a compromise with her to agree to disagree instead of letting her walk away upset with me. Fortunately my gram and I do not ever stay upset with each other and by the time I was leaving that night she had apologized to me and said that she hasn't been feeling well lately and she just lets little things upset her and then she lashes out at people. She told me that I was right and that we should want the people that we love with us at Thanksgiving. I know now that I could have avoided the conflict if I would have just listened better the first time and changed my tone with my gram. Conflict resolution strategies are very important in our lives and it is so beneficial to learn what they are and practice the effects they can have on a situation.
Colleagues:
What are some ways that you think I could have handled this situation better and what did you learn this week about conflict resolution that you feel makes you a better communicator now?
Hi Valerie
ReplyDeleteThe resources that we have learned in this course has taught me to be a better listener with everyopne that I come into contact with. I have learned to listen and before I make a comment about things. I had the same problem for Thanksgiving, but I stayed out of it. I later was resolved by both parties talking it out. Thanks for sharing a great post.