Observing Communicaton

Jadon & Daddy Communicating
     I did not have the opportunity between my work and home schedules to go to a early childcare center or a preschool, but lucky for me I am blessed to have a 2 and 1/2 year old living in my house.  I decided that I could observe my house as my everyday venue and watch as my husband interacted with our son. 

The Observation
     I observed my husband and my son interacting in our living room for about a half an hour before he went to bed.  When I walked into the room my husband was sitting on the couch and my son was playing with a ball.  As Jadon was playing with the ball he was watching football on television.  My husband turned the channel and the following is the conversation that took place between them.
Jadon: (whining)  "Daddy, I wanna watch football."
Daddy: "We're going to see what the weather's going to be."
Jadon: "OK."
Daddy: "Jadon, what did you do today?" 
Jadon: "Huh?"
Jadon (Walking over to his dad):  "What did you do?"
Daddy: "I went to work."
Jadon: "Yeah."
Daddy: "I worked in the woods."
Jadon: "I want to go to work with you."
Daddy: "Why?"
Jadon: "I don't know." 
Jadon (climbing onto the couch): "You goin to bed?"
Daddy: "Yes, I'm going to bed."
Jadon: (pointing to himself) I'm goin to bed."
Jadon: (looking at TV) "This is the weather channel?" "That's snow."
Daddy starts changing the channels again and stops at a fishing show.
Jadon: "This is fishin? Wanna watch basketball daddy?"

Jadon lays down on the couch and daddy turns off the TV.  They begin to talk about breakfast and when they are going to eat it.  Jadon then walks to the TV and says.

Jadon: "Wanna watch football."

Jadon then leans down and smells his dad's feet and says: "PU." Then he walks away.

Jadon's dad then asks him if he remembers about going to the beach and he hid his head in his hands and said he remembered that it was fun.  He then walks back over to his dad.

Jadon: "Move your feet."  Daddy moves his feet.  "Thanks daddy." 
Daddy: "Do you want to go camping?"
Jadon: "Yes."
Daddy: "Why do you like camping?"
Jadon: "Why do you go camping?"

They then began to talk about fishing and Jadon talked about wanting to go fishing and how he could hold the fish and put him back in the water.  Jadon then begins to talk to his sister Gracie. 

Jadon: "Are you going fishing?"
Gracie: "Yes, are you going fishing?"
Jadon: "I am a fisher JD."

Jadon then begins to jump on his dad on the couch and daddy says that it is now time to go to bed.  He picks him up and has him give me a hug and tell me that he loves me, and then he goes upstairs with him. 

Connections
Children really want to spend time with an adult who will listen to them (Stephenson, 2009).  I feel that my husband did a pretty good job of listening to my son although I did observe that many times while Jadon was talking to him, he would not look at Jadon and would look at the television instead.  I think this may have been why when Jadon was talking he would walk over to his daddy and climb up on him as if to say "hey, listen to me!"   I think if the communication were to be more effective or affirming for Jadon, then his dad should have been interacting with just him and not having other objects that would distract him from truly listening.  I think that it was a good strategy that my husband used to communicate with Jadon by asking him questions because it allowed him to respond in any way that he wanted to and my husband did not put words into his mouth, so to speak, but let him say whatever he wanted.  His questioning promoted thinking that moved beyond a one word answer (like yes, or no) and helped to make connections and hypothesize (Rainer Dangel & Durden, 2010).  I could tell that Jadon really enjoyed this time because he answered every question and also asked his dad and his sister questions as well to involve them in the conversation with him. 

Thoughts 
In the media segment this week Lisa Kolbeck stated that children communicate in all different ways and that it is so important that they feel accepted for who they are and respected (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).  I feel that Jadon's daddy did this for him in his communication.  Jadon was not just talked to but communicated with.  His daddy asked him questions and then waited for him to respond and then answered questions that Jadon had as well.  I think that this was a positive interaction for Jadon in relation to his feelings and sense of self-worth because he was allowed to share  his likes and dislikes and no one was telling him what he should say or how he should say it.  As I was watching him talk, climb on his dad, and smile I was reminded about what I heard in the video that children have a great deal to share with us if we are quiet enough to listen to them and let them talk (Laureate Education, Inc., 2011).

Insights
As I thought about the communication that I witnessed here and the way that I communicate with children, I realized that many times I have so much going on in my life and so many things to do, that I am not truly listening to what is being said to me.  In one article that I read this week it said that in our lives it is easy for us to make listening just one more thing that we have to do (Stephenson, 2009).  I feel this way about myself a great deal in my teaching and in my role as a mother.  I learned by watching the interaction between my son and my husband this week the power in truly sitting down with a child and not only talking to them, but listening to what they have to say.  It has made me want to become a more effective listener so that I can also become a better communicator.  I think that the best way that I could do this would be to slow down and take moments to actively listen to the children in my life that I am interacting with.  In this way I will show them that what they are saying is important and I will learn from them as well. 

References:

Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2011). Persona dolls. In Strategies for Working with Diverse Children. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_2652530_1%26url%3D

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-Year-Old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95.

Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81.